10 Hilarious Signs That You Have Become Nairobi’s Grandpa Over The Years

Nairobi is where many Kenyans perch their dreams. For those who are born outside the city, this is where many dream of relocating to in order make their dreams come true. It’s the ‘land’ of greener pastures. Years pass by and whether your dreams do come true or not, that’s a story for another day.

With that said, how can you know that you have become a Nairobi’s grandpa? Are there some signs? Well, we take you through Silas Nyanchwani’s list of signs that would make you a credible Nairobi grandpa without having to undergo any test. According to him these are the residents who came to Nairobi when there was only one city council toilet.

One, if you witnessed the real Saba Saba riots in 1997. The CORD call for Saba Saba is nothing compared to the real deal back in the 1990s at the height of multi partyism. Back then, the opposition had great intellects with sharp legal minds out to give Kenya the second liberation. Silas says that if you were around that time maybe you should try the life in rural Rumuruti.

Two, if you voted in the first multi party election back in 1992. “To vote you had to be above 18 years and now you are 22 years older. We should dedicate for you the song ’Survivor’ if you are still around Nairobi”, says Silas.

The third sign is if you know what cinema ‘is’. Back then here was a newspaper section that advertised ‘Coming Soon’, ‘Next Attraction’ and ‘Now Showing’ in Nairobi’s cinemas including Kenya Cinema, Nairobi Cinema, Odeon, 20th Century, Embassy, Belle Vue, Globe, Shan and Fox-Drive-In along Thika Road.

“If you ever experienced James Bond especially in Casino and ABC cinema…that had rats and people sat on wooden coke crates when it was full you are an “old metal” who survived rotten eggs during walk-in films called ‘watoto kaa chini’.”

Fourthly, if you rode in the Nyayo bus, stage coach before Michuki rules and paid Sh5 for a ride in that bus then your children must now be in form one at Frames of Mind Senior School. In those days the ‘makanga’ would squeeze six standing passengers causing discomfort whenever the matatu hit a bump as they held on to the overboard rail that gave rise to “kushika javeline” or the elitist “jav”

The fifth sign as Silas puts it is if you used megarider. Now we have BebaPay but before then it was megarider where you could board a stage coach somewhere and alight anywhere.

“Sign six would be if you were ever ordered to sit down by the police,” Silas continues. “Back then it was the university students not hawkers that gave the police running battles. At 7 pm in the ‘90s police arrested mostly idle youth and only a bribe would save you.”

If you attended computer classes and opened a yahoo account then Silas argues that this would be your seventh sign as a Nairobi grandpa. Computer colleges taught Data Base’ Lotus 1-2-3 and Spreadsheets.

A Nairobi grandpa has refused to buy into the java and KFC vibe since they are so conservative and do not want to touch anything foreign. They still have tea at Tea Room along Accra Road or at Growers along Tom Mboya Street. This is your eighth sign.

If your vernacular is wanting then it’s your ninth sign. ‘Born Taos’ can hardly construct a sentence in mother tongue, but with sheng’ they are eloquent.

Finally, a Nairobi grandpa has trust issues. It’s like their universal character and they do not trust anyone or anything.

Are you that Nairobi grandpa that we have been talking about?

Courtesy: The Nairobian

Dont Miss any Job Or Article Subscribe to Career Point Kenya by Email FOR FREE CLICK HERE