14 AMAZING Facts About Kenyan life That Are Hilariously True. Do You Agree?

By Elizabeth Benu,

Many things have been said about Kenya but if you were asked to write an essay about Kenya what would you write?

Well, here are a few points to help you out

1.Everyone passes the driving test but immediately they are out of there they instantly forget all the rules. A driver will overlap, make a U-turn where it’s not supposed to be done, over speed and hurry the pedestrians up on the zebra crossing. It happens every day in matatus.

2.There will always be that man who decides to team up his sandals with socks and then wear a don’t-touch trouser and show Kenyans his look.

3.We read in the magazines and Newspapers that white bread is harmful to your health and then later on during commercial breaks we are told that it is healthy. What do you expect a Kenyan to do and white bread has been part of their diet since nursery school?

4.We all have done this, lying on social media. Have you ever read the terms and conditions before agreeing? And when it comes to typing LOL are you sure you laughed out loud?

5.The last bit of your toothpaste tube last longer than the first bit. How many people have you seen squeezing a toothpaste tube till it is disfigured?

6.With the modern buildings in town, there will always be that one person who trips on an elevator and after that take the stairs no matter what.

7. Everyone wants to own a smart phone no matter how fake it is. Even a QWERTY phone is not allowed on the streets. ‘Tumetoka analog tuko digital.’

8.The hotel menus are so diversified that you wish it was just the basics of ‘Ugali Matumbo’, ‘ Chapati Ndengu’ and ‘Rice Beans’. Now it’s all westernized and now there are so many types of chicken. Am sure not many know what Maryland chicken is, try and find out.

9.At a concert when the artist says the county or home town he comes from, the enthusiasm he gets is bigger and better than the one he gets during his performance

10.It’s hard to choose between sleep and internet especially on twitter with the trending topics or an Instagram photo that has many likes and comments.

11.There is a Kenyan hierarchy of needs. First up is the selfie, climbies and recently groundies and soapies need, followed by the fashion craze (everyone wants to look good) and thirdly is the number of Instagram and Twitter followers (love need). Food and the rest of the things come last.

12.Everybody says never but the ‘never’ does not last long. For instance a Facebook status reads ‘I will never be in a relationship. Love hurts’ on September and on October the same person’s status goes ‘Love has never felt this good. Relationships rock’. A person nursing a hangover will say “My head feels heavy. Never again will I touch the bottle,” but then after 5 days they are first in line at the counter waiting to be served.

13.We Kenyans hate doing our laundry and it’s not a wonder that our jeans and jackets are recycled numerously. How we all wish we were still young and our mums still did laundry for us.

14.And finally we all want simple improvements to our week. It’s true that we want Monday and Tuesday deleted, Wednesday Thursday and Friday combined into one long day and an extra day to be added between Saturday and Sunday. It’s clear enough that we do not love weekdays.

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