“My Friend Is Now My NEW Boss!” HR Shares Advice On How To Relate

By Elizabeth Benu
Sally Muthoni* feels confused about her new relationship with her best friend who recently became her boss.

In an anonymous email to Career Point Kenya she says, “My colleague, Irene, has been a good friend since we started working at ABC Company three years ago.Last month she was promoted to head our Sales department which made me upset and maybe a little jealous. I have tried to focus on the positive aspect of her promotion which I can’t because I wanted the promotion too. Since I do not want to lose out on both sides (friendship and career) what should I do? Please help.”

Like Sally having your best friend become your new boss is not easy. If such a situation occurs what should you do?

Here are some tips for dealing with this situation so you can preserve your friendship and your job.

“The first action you should take is to formally acknowledge that you will both have to make some adjustments,” says Mary Bratcher a career coach with a 15 years experience.

“Ask your friend if you can sit down together to talk about the new work changes. Although your friend is certain to be excited about her promotion, she is probably feeling anxious about the same issues as you are, so it is essential to get them out in the open,” she further advices.

This, she says has the advantage of strengthening your personal connection and having a work relationship with clear expectations.

And how do you deal with the jealousy?

“While you may initially feel upset, overlooked or neglected by management, remember not to take things personally. Management’s decision likely involved many factors beyond those you were aware of, so respect and do your best to support the choice that was made,” Ms. Carter says.

If you think that your friend becoming your boss makes room for special favors then you are wrong.

Ms. Carter confirms that you cannot expect your new boss to treat you more favorably than other work mates and you should not feel irritated when she does not.

“Do not compromise your friend’s position or work reputation by using the relationship to gain access to privileged information or special treatment,” she advices.

She also confirms that it is possible to balance the two.

“Once you have adjusted to the new work arrangements, the best thing you can do for yourself and your friend is to focus on your own job. Try to shine in your work performance. Also ensure that you set professional and personal boundaries which will be essential in adjusting to the new relationship twist,” she elaborates.

Her parting shot:
“Your relationship will change but respect the new boundaries set at work. Understand what is required of you as a junior staff and expand your opportunities. You never know; you might get the next promotion,” she concludes.

For any arising questions on work place advice, contact elizabeth@www.careerpointkenya.co.ke

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