Workplace Advice: 6 Smart Ways Of How To Deal With Conflict & Keep Your Job

By Jane Gakaria,

I recently started working at an insurance firm and already I’m not seeing eye to eye with one of my colleagues. She is quite rude, has this condescending attitude like she’s some god and likes to boss people around yet she isn’t our supervisor. I really can’t stand her anymore and so help me God I think I will kill her one of these days. Please help. Rida, via email.

If you have ever been in Rida’s shoes you know it’s not easy to deal with a difficult work mate especially if they happen to be the boss’s favourite. So what can employees in such situations do? I spoke to Martin Githaiga, a HR Officer and Beth Wanjira a Recruitment Manager, both from Corporate Staffing Services on how to handle such an issue.

To start us off I enquire whether they have ever had a memorable conflict that stands out to them in the workplace. “No. not really. But then again I’m a guy so we’re really easy and not into having drama like ladies”, Mr. Githaiga exclaims. As for Ms. Wanjira she states that she’s definitely had one.

“There used to be a female ex-employee who I had issues with. It got so bad to the point she’d write me hate mails, or send me links to articles about how people with big egos will fall and perish. It reached a point that if we had to talk it had to be only about work and only via email, no face to face interactions.”

So what do Mr. Githaiga and Ms. Wanjira suggest people should do to resolve conflict at the workplace? One, avoid conflict if possible. “If there is a problem employee in the workplace whose only joy is to start up fights, simply keep your distance and if you have to talk to them keep the interaction limited,” Mr. Githaiga explains.

Two, be observant. “If you’re a keen person, you can read people’s moods and body language and can know when person A or B is in a bad mood or having a bad day. So in such a moment just keep off and let them be, as they might end up exploding on you causing even more bigger fights”, Ms. Wanjira states.

Three, bring the conflict to the surface. Ms. Wanjira states that “If you have a problem let it be known. There is no point in grumbling behind people’s backs about your dissatisfaction, you know. ‘Fungua roho’ (open up) and be heard. Once it’s out in the open then we can find ways to resolve it”.

Four, check your response. If you’re like most people, then your first response to criticism is defensiveness. “Our work won’t always be perfect so don’t overreact and take it personally. More so if the person giving it is more senior or experienced, and is doing it in a constructive manner that’s respectful and tactful. Or if you’re the one giving people the criticism, ensure you know what you’re talking about and not talking for talking’s sake and have a decent approach.” Mr. Githaiga retorts.

Five address conflict early. Don’t ignore symptoms of budding interpersonal conflict. The best time to address it is before it grows, Ms Wanjira explains. “I once had drama with an ex-employee who would constantly be in my face about my work not being at per yet she wasn’t my supervisor or trained on anything in my field. Rather than just solve the conflict when it first started I would simply ignore her and go home and complain about her. So people at home knew about the drama but she didn’t. So I realized I had to sit down with her and address the issue woman to woman and not let the issuer fester anymore.”

Six accept the outcome. Conflicts can only be resolved in one of several ways Mr. Githaiga says. “Either one side can win and the other concedes. Both sides can give a little to achieve compromise. Or three, sometimes there won’t be a resolution and worst case scenario, the employee or employees may have to leave”.

Their parting shot? Everyone is human and different so learn to accommodate people with their personalities. Respect everyone and give them their space. Don’t be too judgmental as even you yourself have flaws.

In conclusion, if you’re having serious problems with colleagues, better to do something about it so as to resolve them early on. After all, everyone should enjoy coming to work and being comfortable in their space.

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