7 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do

Most people think about emotional intelligence as a skill, something you can build and train with practice.

And while this is partly true, there’s a deeper truth about emotional intelligence that most of us miss: Improving your emotional intelligence is often about what you do less of, not more of.

If you’d like to become more emotionally intelligent, learn to identify these 7 habits in your own life & career, and work to eliminate them;

1. Criticizing Others

Criticizing others is often an unconscious defense mechanism to alleviate our own insecurities.

We’re all critical sometimes. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing—to think carefully and critically about the world around us is a vital skill. It helps us navigate the world and our relationships in an objective way.

But too much criticism—especially the habit of being critical of others—can lead to the opposite of objectivity: it can make us narrow-minded and blind, especially to ourselves.

2. They never dismiss other people’s feelings

Imagine telling somebody how you feel, and they just dismiss. That would feel terrible, right?

Emotionally intelligent people understand that everyone’s emotions are valid, even if they disagree with them. They never dismiss someone else’s feelings or belittle them for how they feel.  Instead, they listen with empathy and try to see where the other person’s coming from.

3. They don’t hold grudges

People with high EQ know that holding onto anger and resentment can weigh us down and cause unnecessary stress. So they never hold grudges. Sure, they may still remember past hurtful events, but they don’t let those memories consume them.

I know that’s easier said than done. But I think, once you’ve learned the art of letting go and forgiving, you’ll feel incredibly lighter and freer! Forgiveness does not also mean that you ignore your emotions.

4. They do not complain

Most of the time when you complain and whine about something, it only means two things; One that you are a victim and two, that there is no solution to whatever you are going through. Emotionally intelligent people rarely allow a problem to be beyond them.

They never go about complaining to anyone who cares to listen about how finding a job is difficult nowadays. Instead they sit down, listen to their inner voices and realize that they have control over the situation.

5. Emotionally intelligent people don’t stop practicing self-care

Do emotionally intelligent people do nothing but be understanding and giving? Practice compassion and give people the benefit of the doubt? I suppose that’s because of one habit they have: they never neglect self-care.

We can’t take care of others if we don’t take care of ourselves first. So, people with high EQs do exactly that – they prioritize their physical, mental, and emotional health.

6. They never gossip

Emotionally intelligent people know that gossip will always lead to drama and so they avoid it. You will see them walk back to their desk when you are probably discussing that colleague who is always friends with boss, because they don’t want to be part of a conflict that will, likely ensue in future. It’s not that they are cowards or unsocial, they just don’t like contributing to drama that will ruin relationships.

7. They don’t rely on others for happiness

Emotionally intelligent people have mastered the art of being self-sufficient including being content and having a positive peace of mind. They know that their happiness depends on them entirely and not the other person.

They will find ways of making themselves happy instead of relying on other people. They know that relying on other people for happiness and contentment is putting themselves at a risk of disappointment and heart ache.

Final thoughts….

Being emotionally intelligent is all about being in control of the situation and learning to control your emotions and circumstances. You may never have thought much about it, but you should now strive to always be emotionally intelligent.

More than IQ, EQ is actually the strongest predictor of success, whether personal or professional.

Ready to improve your emotional intelligence skills? Sign up for this EQ Course today!